dum de dum de dum

Hmm, as I said in my other posts about nothing much going on in my life really, it's true, even in this blog post that I am writing now, I wont have much to say...But today I am feeling very talkative and I had a realisation earlier and I want to write it down.

Today when I was in town, I started thinking about my friends, the ones I have now, and the ones that I used to have.
I look at my friends now, they all keep in touch with old friends, go out with them, have fun. I have never done that, so I kind of lose them more than I already had. I thought, I have never really been close to my friends, I have a small group, that I am really close to now, and I am glad to have them. But I can't help think, 'Should I have gotten closer to my other friends'...

I never invite my friends round my house, but I don't like going round their houses too much, I feel awkward, and I'm wondering whether it the fact that I was never truly close to them, or if its because I am a shy person, I know that I am shy, and I can't help it.

But thinking this...I wish I was closer to my other friends, they are all really great people, but I've drawn closer to new people, and have kind of forgotten my old friends from primary school, it doesn't mean I don't love them any less than I did, but in a way I wish I talked to them more, and that, but I guess, I can't turn back time.

Now I've left school, finished my GCSE's, I'm moving on to new things, and I don't want to loose friends, but I kind of guess, its inevitable, its going to happen, so I'm going to take it, and live with it, and hope, it doesn't affect me too much, but while I can I am holding on to my friends as hard as I can, I'm scared to loose them, especially Matt, my Boyfriend, he is truly the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life <3

xCiaox